The absence of love hasn't left me debilitated. Well, it did for a while but overall it has been a positive experience. It has motivated me. It made me want to become a better person, more mature, and secure. It made me want to become successful, stable, and accomplished. It made me want to have all of my issues sorted out so when I find love again, I'll be ready for it. Ready for her.
The problem is that I'm not ready, or didn't think so. Sure, I believe I am a much better person now than I was when I first discovered love. There's no doubt that I'm much more mature. I am also self-confident now, completely secure with who I am as individual. However, I'm severely lacking the success, stability and accomplished requisites. To my own credit and demise, I've removed myself so far from relationships that I have no room in my life for one. I've focused so much on becoming successful and accomplished that I've forgotten how significant a significant other can be.
There was a point when that lifestlye was proper and founded, it can be a great way to live a period of your life. In order to be successful in a relationship, you have to be comfortable and confident with yourself. As soon as you can truly enjoy life on your own merits, then are you able to fully enjoy it with someone else.
I took it to an extreme though and it wasn't until a recent epiphany that I realized as important as it is to find your independent self, at some point it's just as important to rely on others. As simple as that is, it never crossed my mind. I honestly never considered anyone helping me before and certainly not someone I was in love with. I always thought that I would become successful and accomplished all on my own. I would build greatness by myself and then one day share it with the woman I felt worthy. That seems so crazy to me now but before I truly believed there was no other way.
Never once, when I thought about my life and future, did I think about falling in love right now. In my dreams I always "got the girl" later in life. I did even think it was possible to find love in my current state- all potential with no credentials. But what if I did? How amazing would it be to grow and achieve dreams together? Each of us working side by side, just has hard as the other to accomplish both of our goals in life. Two forces who have nothing separately but when combined can achieve greatness together.
I can't imagine anything more satisfying than helping the one person in the world I love the most achieve their biggest dreams. It must be astounding. It just seems so logical now. Of course I can't do everything on my own. In all honesty, I wouldn't want to.
I always thought that I needed to achieve greatness before I could ever be happy with someone. The only way I see it now is that I could never be happy unless I'm achieving great with someone.