I am the bloodline decedent and some have claimed I am the Sir Rockabuilt Von Jagger second coming. I say that is hogwash. I am my own man and always have been. I was born prematurely at 13 pounds 7 ounces when my Mother forced the doctors to induce labor because my man-child beard was rubbing her womb raw. Feeling terrible for causing her so much pain, upon delivery I fired the entire doctor staff for not inducing sooner. They never worked in medicine again.

I had a typical childhood- an occasional mission to the moon, a few OSCARs for my various works in all-time-best box office sellers, and a Nobel prize or two. By 13 I had ventured to the furthest reaches of the world in search of spiritual enlightenment where I perfected the art of reaching Nirvana. Sharing my secret with the good people of Bonawitisika, they made me their king (It's more of a figurehead position, I don't do much ruling).

My teenage years were full of championship rings, war metals, and honing my superb sexual prowess. I once made the Queen Mother blush by simply acknowledging her presence. At 17 I taught Stephen Hawking quantum physics. At 19 I had to refuse to give Slash guitar lessons due to the abnormal mating habits of the humpback whale.

The escapades of my twenties have been classified due to both national security and out of respect for Steven Spielberg as he's trying to culminate his career by making a trilogy of my life. I assure you, these years have been equally as impressive.

Contribute to SWH

Pick Up Your Copy

  • Prime
  • Kindle
  • Paperback
  • Hardcover
  • Buy
The world’s most successful and celebrated pop star. A Native American making a name for himself in LA. The two collide in a powerful love...
SW Hammond
Contribute to SW Hammond Over the last few weeks, the website has undergone a few major changes. With the completion of the...
SW Hammond
Believe me, you guys—I am so in love with these characters! Well, it has been quite the summer. Those of you who keep in touch and check out...
SW Hammond
Should you ever find yourself in a position of influence, you’ll be required to pay the toll of compliance. I am part of the first...
SW Hammond
No matter your political stance, newspapers are organizations of sensationalism, partisanship, editorial opinion, and payola. Journalists...
SW Hammond
Today was… difficult. October 2, 2017—the day of the Las Vegas Massacre. It was technically the night before, but the world woke to another...
SW Hammond
Sarah Saturday's dreamy-reflective bedroom pop rock project captivates and compels with earnest songwriting. Sarah Saturday might be my...
SW Hammond
Maybe you can never go home again. But if you could, Ghost Notes would be the soundtrack. For some reason I’ve avoided writing about Ghost...
SW Hammond
Guilty Pleasure? Embarrassed??? Hardly. As much as I love music, and devoted a significant amount of my life to it, I can still be pretty...
SW Hammond
I recently contributed to the following question: what are some of the best books for beginners of philosophy? This is kind of loaded...
SW Hammond
The answers I’ve arrived at could have never been told to me—as I cannot tell them to you—they were achieved through realization by...
SW Hammond
On every measurable scale, no matter which side you are sympathetic toward, The Shortest War In History adds to the long list of Unjust wars...
SW Hammond
I was finally able to extract a bunch of data from an old hard drive. I was sure it contained old writings, school projects and music but...
SW Hammond
As I’ve become older, out of my twenties for a couple of years, I’ve found myself settling into a pattern of reveling in solitude. When I...
SW Hammond
I used to pour my guts out. Seems the only way I ever understood my feelings were to read them. The collection within these pages used to...


Enter your email below and never miss news and new releases from SW Hammond.